Guns Are Roaches

Imagine a long executive table, and Jimmy the new guy walks into the room…

There’s an extravagant lunch prepared for the meeting, and there are gun marketers all around a table, coming up with slogans and ways to fool the American audience into buying more of their products.

“Guns Kill People… Dead” Says one 300 pound executive, his mouth full of lobster, “To borrow from RAID”

“No, No, No… Too Obvious!” Says the older man at the front, puffing on his oxygen tank. “If I had grandkids, they’d see through that one!”

“Guns… Don’t Leave Home Without Them!” says another guy, standing up with rib stains all over his shirt

“That’s a good one!” We can use that in some internet marketing pieces- people would be dumb enough to think it’s funny!

“But what do we do when people get killed with our products?” asks Jimmy.

The room stops.

There’s a pause, and then they all explode in a loud guffaw.

Struggling to catch his breath, the old man says

“That’s when we get free publicity, and sales go UP! We just tell them to get MORE guns…” He wheezes to catch his greedy, gluttonous breath “… To ‘protect’ themselves!”


“Never underestimate the power of fear to drive away someone’s intelligence… Just cash the check, and wait for the next shooting, Jimmy!”

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