My name is Bones Rodriguez, and I’m an actor born and raised in New York City where I live with my wife and son. We live on the upper west side where I grew up, but New York is a much different place than when I was growing up here.
I was very upset when Disney changed 42nd street because all through my adolescence I was looking forward to being old enough to go to the porn stores and pick up a hooker or something.
I had big goals.
But the reason I tell you all of that is to let you know that I say what’s on my mind.
New Yorkers are said to be rude, but actually we’re just “truthful”.
That’s one reason I haven’t made the move to Hollywood yet.
The other is that Spielberg hasn’t called yet.
Been there, lived there, shot stuff there, but haven’t made the switch.
I like when people tell you what’s on their mind instead of lying to your face, and talking trash behind your back. I recently found out that a casting director has been doing that because of a comedy choice I made in a recent audition.
I told a new actor that, and she was horrified “Oh no… you men you’re BLACKLISTED?!?!” like it was the end of my life or something.
It made me think of this story:
“That Time 4 Lesbians Kicked Me Out Of An Audition”
So this is back when I was still non-union doing the hustle of freelancing with different commercial agents. When one called me, I made sure to tell the others that “so and so beat you to me”.
That’s a tip. Always let them know when they missed out on making money with you.
I was getting pretty popular as this “ethnically ambiguous” smiley guy;
If you want someone definitely black, it isn’t me (even though I partly am).
If you want someone definitely latino, it isn’t me (even though I totally am)
If you want someone definitely Arabic/middle eastern/Egyptian, it isn’t me (even though I have great eyelashes)
When you want all three looks while only paying for one- I’m your guy.
Especially if you wanted him to sound “ethnic, but not too ethnic”.
I can say that.
Directors can’t; they try, and they speak in code words like “urban” or “standard”. I even had one guy tell me to “white it up”, but hey- I knew what he meant, I did it, and I got paid.
But this time I was going in for HARLEY-DAVIDSON.
Y’know, the motorcycles.
No, I’ve never been on one.
Never on a Harley,
Or a Davidson.
Or a motorcycle for that matter.
Remember, I was born and raised in New York City.
But… I guess they called me in because they wanted to… expand their demographics?
Maybe there weren’t enough Black/Latino/Arabs riding Harleys.
Whatever. I am used to subway surfing, so it’s probably the same thing, right?
I walk into Don Case casting (I even remember that Tisha was running it), and there were 4 nicely dressed pant-suit women at the desk behind the camera.
I say pant-suit women because I expected Harley Davidson execs to be beer guzzling zz top looking guys.
But no, just some… pant-suit women.
I walked in with a few other guys, all wide-eyed at the idea of booking a commercial.
So Tisha says: “Ok Bones, this is pretty simple, we just want you to imagine you’re getting on a Harley for the first time, and we want to see what that feels like..”
And one of the Pants-Suits says “Yeah, like you get a boost of confidence.”
Another one says “Like you feel like a super-hero all of a sudden”
and there was a little bit of a chorus of words in the room, until one just said “Do you know what we mean?”
and I said exactly what I thought they meant, exactly what you are thinking:
“Yeah, I get it- like my Dick just grew bigger…”
Not even a giggle.
I mean, like I whipped it out to show them or something!
Wasn’t this HARLEY DAVIDSON?
Chug a beer, crush it in your hand, and throw it at the suit while you drive away with his girlfriend, HARLEY DAVIDSON?
Actually, one of the other actors started to nod his head like he was about to say the same thing, but when he heard the din of silence that followed my delivery, he froze in place.
Tisha cleared her throat, and walked over to the camera, and just said “and.. action”.
I knew the job was lost, but I’m a pro.
I acted as if my dick had grown bigger.
Not too much (don’t want to frighten anyone away), but just a little bit.
Big, confident smile.
But remember that scene in TOTAL RECALL when the Arnold is about to give up (wait-you knew I was talking Arnold and not Colin, right? RIGHT?) but then he sees the bead of sweat going down the guy’s forehead?
That was me. The guy who Arnold shoots in the head right before the walls come crashing down, and he has to escape before the mind police come and get him.
Except it was the pant suits who shot me in the head, and the door opened with a “Thank You” before I could even say “I’ll be (at the call) back”
Terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger joke. I should really delete that.
As I left, I saw the pant-suit women all start kissing each other and making out as the door closed.
I may have made that last part up, but that’s why I thought they were lesbians.
So what’s the end of the story?
You’re probably hoping that my dick reference got me the job, but I’m sorry to say that I have yet to book a job because of my dick.
Not an ACTING JOB at least (wink, wink-amirite?)
No, the end of this story is that I dont think I went back to Don Case for years after that.
But the reason I didn’t do that is because I went union, started booking big-ass work, and signed with Paradigm, who I have been with for over a decade.
That huge embarassment made not one iota of difference in my career, and so you should stop worrying about that one stupid thing you did one time.
It happened, move on.
Make them regret not using you.
And EVERYTIME you go into an audition room, I want you to imagine your dick just grew!
If you liked this story, were inspired, or think some other people would benefit from it, SHARE IT, I wrote it to affect people who could use some Information, inspiration, and motivation.
It’s 2015, and somehow we’re still talking about why women don’t earn the same as men in some jobs.
Nobody actually thinks that a woman should be paid less for doing the same job, but that’s where the rub is:
Whether or not they are actually doing the same job.
Should a woman who works as a factory worker, who does the same amount of work as a man get paid the same?
But what if she’s a mid-level executive who pushes paper and has no definitive way to qualify her work?
Then it’s questionable.
What if the pay is based on your negotiation skills when the job offer came up?
And what if they person hiring is a man who is captivated by the applicant, and wants to date her, so he offers a lot more money?
Well then- all bets are off, right?
But there’s one place where NONE of that matters:
IN YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Women who run their own businesses get paid whatever the market pays them, and they understand this,
And many look forward to this level-playing field.
When you have your own business, you are paid by your results- that’s it.
There are many, many successful woman entrepreneurs and it seems that the field is growing.
One of my friends, Noha Waibsnaider founded PEELED SNACKS back in 2004, and through all sorts of ups and downs and through bearing two children (I can barely manage the one I have!), she has made Peeled Snacks a brand recognized all over the country.
Some people call her “Unstoppable“.
And it’s a trait that many women have.
Something about their ability to organize, prioritize, and commit to a goal and a dream of raising a child really translates to the business-owner character.
I’m an Entrepreneur, and a Dad, and I know that I could probably use a little help in these areas!
I came across this Infographic from an article on “Information Is Beautiful”, and it breaks down the various ways that a musician can make the paltry minimum wage of $1,260 a month.
First of all, I think it’s interesting that the goal in this graphic was to make the minimum wage, as if already giving into the idea that musicians will be poor. However, since that pretty much squares up with most people’s realities, it seems appropriate.
So, here’s the graphic, but then I’m going to tell you about my own theories for musicians as we continue into this digital music age. Here’s a hint: Music has ZERO financial value… and never did.
First, the picture:
To me, the best way would be to sell individual CDs of course, just because of the sheer volume, but some people might feel totally opposite. I think that finding CLOSE, HARD-CORE FANS is the way for a musician to earn money these days.
There’s a lot of talk about finding “1,000 True Fans”, who would pay $100 ayear, or more for a close relationship with an artist.
The way “Patrons” used to, or the way Patreon does it now.
Because Music has NEVER had any financial value.
Before recorded music, it was only of value to keep people in a bar, or just as entertainment for the masses, and a musician might make money playing some popular song he heard somewhere.
Once recorded music hit, we paid to hear the song, but we paid for the MEDIUM the music was on- record, tape, CD.
Every song cost the same, no matter it’s “quality”- it was the MEDIUM we paid for.
Now that everything is just digital, what exactly are we paying for? I can hear just about any song on YouTube for free, because that’s probably the way I heard it to begin with.
So what is the modern musician supposed to do?
Create EXPERIENCES for their audience.
Phish does it- they play different concerts all the time, and they are jam packed. People download special recording, buy album art, clothes. special EVERYTHING.
In fact, if you go see a show live, you get the downloads for FREE.
And they have cultivated thousands of fans who spend way more than $100 a year with them.
So, there’s my advice- instead of trying to make money with your “notes”, give the people the EXPERIENCES they crave, and that your music can provide.
I mean, that he sent me a friend request,
and sends me a very cool video as a testimonial for my course for actors.
Wait- for real…
Do you know how often I speak to American Actors who bitch and moan about everything?
I mean, they aren’t seen for this, they are angry because someone else got the job, because no one recognizes their “GENIUS” acting abilities (mostly because they aren’t doing anything), and it gets so tiring.
This guy Chris is taking the opportunities that are in front of him, and he’s out working. Then he comes home, learns some more from me and my course, and then makes me a video:
It’s just the worst, and the higher your expectations, and the more excited you are about something, the harder the fall of disappointment.
The more JOY you’re investing, the more GRIEF from the disappointment.
Now, I’ve heard that “attachment to results is the main cause of suffering”, but that’s for another post.
For right now, here’s what I wanted to tell you:
Get excited anyway.
Get joyous anyway.
You see, it’s really easy to dampen your hopes, to play down your enthusiasm, and to mute your excitement just to protect yourself from the soul-crushing, rug-pulling, embarrassment of disappointment.
You get news about something great, but you STOP YOURSELF from getting too excited, or too hopeful, because it’s possible that it might not work out the way you want it to.
So, you ROB YOURSELF of the joy instead… BEFORE disappointment gets it’s chance.
And that means Disappointment has won.
It has beaten you because you bring it along with you and do it’s work for it.
And the worst part- is that sometimes, because you’ve muted your excitement so much, you actually bring about the unwanted results, and get disappointed.
And it grows in strength for the next time.
ow, about the “attachment to results” thing, this is kinda true.
Because there’s a difference between getting excited, and hanging all of your hopes on a single, particular result.
I went with some friends to a Phish concert, after not having heard them live in a while, and the discussion came to what songs we wanted to hear.
One of my friends absolutely HAD to hear something, and was going to be disappointed if he didn’t. Another really hoped they did NOT play something else. When it came to my turn, I really and sincerely couldn’t be disappointed. I was just glad that I was going, and whatever they played would be great…. even Guelah Papyrus, which is my least favorite song.
But in truth, I haven’t heard it in so long, I might actually enjoy it!
Anyway, this has not been one of my most fluid posts (kinda disappointed in it!), but you get the point.
The next time you feel yourself trying to avoid disappointment, remember that it means it has already won!
I just made up that poem on the fly
I don’t know why
I did it on the fly
Perhaps I’ll die.
HOWEVER, the question I put forth is WHO do you choose to be? And realizing that you can choose something different all the time, because it’s a character choice. So- in every given moment, remember that YOU have chosen who you are- do you like the person you’re choosing?
Not the greatest show, but there was a sketch where all he cast members played different Jim Carrey characters, kinda doing impressions of him:
Tarren Killam again showing that he’s fantastic at most things.
It was a fun sketch, fun to watch and know the characters, but not really “funny”.
But here’s why I cried at the end of it.
A long time ago, I made a list of 101 life goals. No, one of them was NOT to perform with Jim Carrey (although, maybe I should!), but it was this:
“Other comedians do impressions of me to an audience’s delight”
Watching it happen for someone else made me happy for him, but also really sad for myself. I hate to say it, but I don’t think that’s going to happen for me anymore. Well, at least I got to see it for Jim!
Actually, I’ve changed my mind. There’s no need to give up on that dream, and in fact, watching it happen for Jim Carrey makes it MORE likely that it will be or me too!
All thoughts are lies people, so you might as well choose the ones that work in your favor!!
She was still in the hospital when I was asked to go to the callback for this commercial spot. I figured, why not? She was ok, and the baby was fine. It was the callback session, which means they were only going to see me once, but what the hell, right?
I knew I wasn’t going to get it, so I did this:
So, maybe next time, you’ll do the same thing,
and you can have that “I BOOKED IT!” Feeling:
I updated the No More Waiters package recently and added 2 HOURS of extra content!
I often meet people who “used to be” actors.They invariably tell me why they stopped, and it’s usually some variation of “I had to grow up” or “I just couldn’t take the instability” or “THEY didn’t know what they wanted”. I wish someone would just say “I didn’t do what it takes”. Here’s a story that I wanted to write down, but decided to do a video instead: